Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Sept. 18, 2012

I'm kinda here.

I had such high hopes of accomplishing so much yesterday, but much like the day before and the day before that, not much was done about it. As I sit and either sew at my sewing machine, or start to do any hand sewing, of which there is a lot to do, I start to thinking and talking to myself as there is no one here to talk to but my cats, and they just look at me like I'm crazy, lol.

Sometimes I hear still in my head all the negative things that have been said about just about everything I have done in the 20 or so years. Whether it be cross stitching, crocheting, candle making, soap making, woodwork, bead work, and now my efforts of sewing and quilting. 

Alas it brings me down as I go over what people have said, people I admire, look up to, and proud to call my family and my friend. When this begins, it brings me down, and I get into this funk of, I can't do anything right, no one is going to like it.. Etc. etc.
And it takes a lot to bring me out of it. Now I sit here amongst the material and scraps and the makings of quilts, table runners, pillow shams/cases and I have to wonder if I am up to going through it all again, to be criticize harshly by those who receive these items that I pour my heart into, thinking of all the warmth and comfort it will bring to those who I love. I try to think of good things, and good thoughts, but still its there in the back of my mind niggling at it.

Oh well, I suppose I should go and do some pondering, and some more meandering around the house get some laundry done and the dishes and the.. ugggggggg ;-) .

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